she tried to be selfless
by CallieFoster
Summary: No matter who asked in her family, she'd dodge their questions about what happened while she was gone, or why one day when Mariana woke up Callie was asleep in her own bed, all her stuff unpacked.
1. Chapter 1

**Another fanfic today! Woo!**

* * *

Callie emerged from the bathroom and turned off the light behind her. Her movements were slow while she wore a dazed expression on her face. Her new family watched her walk to the living room, climbing onto to the couch next to Jude, who was curled up with Mariana. She situated her, staying completely silent. She made no attempts to look or talk to them, even while they stared. She kept her eyes trained ahead, watching the movie that no one else seemed to interested in.

No matter who asked in her family, she'd dodge their questions about what happened while she was gone, or why one day when Mariana woke up Callie was asleep in her own bed, all her stuff unpacked.

"Callie?" Jude questioned quietly, scooting towards his sister, wrapping his arms around her waist, leaning his head on her. She flinched at the contact she hasn't had in weeks, since the night of the wedding. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned, still feeling guilty about calling her selfish,"Did you get sick again?"

She swallowed deeply and remained silent for a few more moments before nodding her head and whispering, "Yeah buddy, I guess it's the stomach flu again."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" Jesus looked up from his spot on the floor to look at her. Callie's gaze moved back to the TV. Her skin was pale and her eyes were wide as she stared at the white spots above her head. "Callie?" Lena wondered, before nervously glancing at her wife. When she continued to stare ahead, Stef added in, "Callie? Is everything alright?"

"Uh," she ran her hand over Jude's head, messing up his hair gently, "Why don't you go upstairs for a bit, buddy?" She looked at him until he nodded, unwrapping his arms from her and making his way up the steps.

Everyone was on high alert now- The twins, Brandon, Lena and Stef. Stef grabbed the remote and paused the movie, taking Lena's hand in her own, turning all of her attention to their soon to be adopted daughter.

Callie took a deep breath, taking one last glance at the stair case to make sure Jude was out of earshot.

"Uh, while I was, uh, gone," she swallowed averting her gaze from everyone. "I saw Liam." An audible gasp was hear throughout the otherwise silent room.

She glanced up before turning her head to the side momentarily, pursing her lips, blinking back tears.

"Uhm, he raped me again." She nodded sadly, no longer able to keep the tears at bay. She quickly wiped the few tears that managed to escape.

Stef and Lena both rushed over to Callie's side, wrapping her in a "mama sandwich" as she let out a shuddered breath.

Brandon couldn't look at her anymore, "I'm sorry," he stuttered glancing at the floor, feeling guilty. Like he was the reason she left. His mom's had assured him and Jude many times that it was neither of their faults, and of course they still wanted to keep them.

"I'm pregnant."

The words were like a gunshot that ricocheted through the room, as the only sound had been Callie's strangled breathing and Mariana's and the mom's crying.

Everyone froze.

Callie's heart seemed to stop dead in her chest as every nerve in her body went cold. She felt so small, the soothing circles that Lena and Stef had been rubbing on her back had stilled, Brandon had stopped looking at the floor and stared at Callie instead. Mariana's sniffling even quieted, leaving her looking at her new sister with wide eyes. Jesus got up and went upstairs without saying a word when they all heard Jude call to see if he could come down yet. Partially to help and partially because he didn't want to hear about the awful thing Liam did.

"What?" Stef swallowed thickly, grimacing at the rough feeling in her throat. Her voice was choked and foreign to all of their ears, never hearing her talk in a bad situation without being in cop mode, "I- wh-." Her voice gave out, unable to continue.

"I'm late," she whispered, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Have you taken a test?" Mariana asked, hurting even more than when Ana, her birth mom, only wanted her for money. She never expected to grow to love the juvie girl who she was forced to share a room with months ago. Callie shook her head, "So then, there's still a chance you're not pregnant?" Brandon questioned, a sliver of hope-and anger directed towards Liam-detected in his voice.

She shook her head solemnly, making sure her family wouldn't get their hopes up. "I'm over a week late. I keep getting sick," Her breath caught and they could see the wetness glistening in her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Stef and Lena squeezed her, wrapping their arms around her tighter when they noticed she was having a hard time keeping her tears at bay, motherly instincts kicking in. No one could think of anything to say.

Brandon walked towards the door, grabbing the keys off the table before hollering over his shoulder, "I'm getting a test."

* * *

_Mariana squinted at the light seeping in through her window. Damn, hadn't she closed the blinds last night?_

_She threw her comforter off with a huff and grouchily climbed out of bed, turning to make her way to the window._

_"Callie?!" She exclaimed, her heart beating faster noticing the sleeping figure in the bed that had been vacant for weeks. When Callie and Jude first came to live with them, she was eagerly anticipating the day they'd leave and she'd have the room to herself again. But while Callie was gone she realized it was nearly impossible to sleep without the whispering between the two girls, or the sound Callie's mattress made when she tossed or shifted in her sleep, or the footsteps of Callie leaving the room every night to get a glass of water when she had a bad dream(which happened more than she would admit- "I'm fine, Mariana, go back to sleep." The silence in the room has been deafening without her._

_"Moms!" Mariana yelled, trying and failing to keep her voice steady as she rushed across the room, forgetting the tiredness she felt moments ago. She stood a foot away from Callie's bad, almost like she was afraid to get any closer._

_Callie, being the light sleeper she is(she had to be, for her and Jude's sake while in the foster system) was already stirring when the door opened._

_"What's wrong baby?" Lena's p_anic _evident in her voice. Stef was close behind, asking what was wrong before both moms let out of gasp._

_"Oh my baby," Stef exclaimed kneeling beside the bed, brushing her hand over Callie's head, like she thought she'd disappear any moment._

_Lena watched teary eyed, wrapping an arm around a crying Mariana, who was just as happy as she was to have Callie back._

_Callie was completely awake now, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes. "Hi," she murmured sheepishly, avoiding eye con_tact _with the crying women in her room._

_Jesus and Brandon rushed into the room. Callie heard one of them yell, "What's going on?!" Before Jesus had thrown his arms around her, Mariana quickly following. Jesus pulled away smiling, "Wait till Jude sees you."_

* * *

"I've got the tests." Brandon said opening the door. "Tests for what?" Jude looked towards the door at him. Mariana and Jesus looked at him wide eyed from the couch. They all glanced at each other, obviously searching for something to say before Jesus interrupted the silence, "We were just finishing the movie. You can put my drivers test on my desk. Callie is with moms in their room."

Thank you Jesus(both of them).

Brandon nodded his head, taking a calming breath as he walked up the steps, knocking lightly on Lena and his moms bedroom door before opening it slowly.

The room was silent, and his heart began to pound even more when he saw the three of them cuddled in bed. Though his moms smiled sadly at him, she made no move to look at him when he slowly sat down on the bed. With gentleness he didn't know he had, he set a hand on her covered leg, which made her flinch. Both he and Stef grimaced, all too aware of why the close contact startled her. "I've got the tests." She reached up and grabbed the bag that he was holding in his hands, but made no move to sit up. Lena had her arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arm comfortingly, "Callie, sweetie, you have to take the test."

"I know," she whispered.

Brandon took that as his cue to leave, going to his room and sitting down at his piano. The grim reaper would be glad to know he's had that kind of pain.

* * *

"We're going to be right in here." Stef reassured a panicked Callie. A silent tear slipped from her wide eye. "It's going to be fine." Lena added, "You're safe with us, no matter what. Okay?"

Callie nodded and with considerable effort, pushed herself off the bed. Her knuckle was white from gripping the plastic bag so tightly in her hands, and they could both see her hands trembling even as she clutched the bag. "Okay." She nodded and took one last glance at her moms before leaving the room and making her way to the bathroom.

* * *

After 15 minutes had passed, Lena and Stef walked towards the bathroom the kids shared and Stef knocked softly,"Callie?" When they received no response, she tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. "We're coming in." They still received no response as she pushed the door open to find Callie sitting on the floor, her back to the wall, and her arms wrapped tightly around her knees that were pulled up close to her, trying to make herself small. Her eyes were glazed over as she stared straight ahead, not daring to glance up at the test that was sitting on the counter. "Have you looked?" Lena wondered aloud.

The panic stricken look on her face told them more than the test could have.

She was pregnant.

Her body remained frozen, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall. They sit down on either side of her, saying nothing. "What am I going to do?" Her voice is soft, punctuated by sharp little breaths she uses to gasp for air, trying not to break down. "What do you want to do?" Stef asked the broken girl sitting beside her. Her face crumbled at her words her last resolve finally breaking under the immense weight of the worry she was carrying. The tears fell from her eyes freely now and her entire body shook with loud sobs. Lena pulled her into her arms, allowing her body to curl against hers, "I want to not be pregnant," she cried. "I want it to not be real." She was near hyperventilation, "Not this young. Not with Liam's baby. Not when I'm so fucked up!"

"I know," Stef whispered, rubbing a hand in small comforting motions on her back, trying to console Callie in any way possible. "I know."

* * *

**and that's the first chapter! Review if you want me to update. Requests are always welcomed.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry this is so bad, it's just a filler chapter. I know what needs to happen with this story and where I'm going to take it. I might not update as frequently though because writing up what leads up to it is harder so suggestions would be great. If there's something you'd like to see, I'll try to include it. Reviews are awesome. xx**

* * *

Sometime after Callie's sobs had quieted in the tears had dried, Lena and Stef guided her to their bed, her movements stiff, her mind wandering. Unlike most nights, she was allowing the two moms to give her affection. She allowed them to wrap their arms around her and didn't flinch away, not saying another word. Sleep never came for her and she assumed it hadn't come for the rest of the family either(aside from Jude. Oh God, how was she going to tell Jude?). For hours, they remained like that, still and awake as the reality came crashing down on them.

It had started a week ago, she had been home for 9 days by that point, and still hadn't opened up to anything that had happened. The moms knew about the kiss, and she knew that. Jude had squealed the second he found out she was missing, telling them about the fight and her promise to him. She was getting ready for school and put her bra on and it didn't fit right. She'd already gone through puberty but she'd tried to brush it off, even when she noticed that they were a little sore. She never missed her period, not once. Yet, here she was, 3 days late, watching the days tick by without any sign of her monthly visitor.

She let out a dry laugh. Funny, isn't it? Girls complain every month about their period. Yet, there she'd been, begging for it, longing for the aching cramps and the bloat that always made her jeans feel too tight. She didn't want to acknowledge it, pushing it to the back of her mind, blaming it on the stress of the past weeks' events.

Then the 'stomach flu' had hit. That's what she said it was, what she made her family believe. She began taking too long in the shower before her moms could even offer to make her breakfast and coming down late for dinner so they wouldn't have to see her running to the bathroom and emptying her stomach in the toilet. Jude has been so worried about her. She couldn't imagine telling him. He knew what Liam did to her, she didn't think he could fully grasp what had happened at the time. Though he was 12 now, she was sure he'd understand.

"What are you thinking?" Lena whispers into the loud silence, unable to remain quiet when she knew how much Callie was hurting.

The moms listened closely but received silence fore a few moments before hearing her voice for the first time since she cried all over them in the bathroom. "Jude."

* * *

Callie had managed to survive the next day, able to keep any tears that threatened to fall at bay, putting her poker face on for her little brother's sake.

"Hey little man," Stef smiled as Jude made his way into the kitchen, "hungry?" Jude nodded, a smile forming on his lips.

"Dinner will be ready in twenty," she informed him, going back to cutting vegetables for the salad.

"Hey buddy, why don't you help me?" Callie suggested, ruffling his hair when he stood next to her. He nodded, reaching to grab some doh from the bowl. "Dude," Callie scoffed, pushing the bowl farther to her other side, "Go wash your hands." A genuine smile tugged at her lips when Jude rolled his eyes but trudged over to the sink anyway.

* * *

Callie stepped into the shower, flinching slightly as the scalding drops first hit her skin; but adjusting to the heat quickly moved to wet her hair. Under the safety of the drizzling hot water and the shut door, she finally allowed herself to cry, letting the tears she's been blinking back all day fall freely. She thought back to her old foster homes, comforting Jude after she was beaten by the dad, or yelled at by the mom. She rarely shed a tear in front of him, she had to be strong for him. Crying was reserved for showers only, so that's what she did.

* * *

Stepping out once the water began to run cold, she turned to look at her unchanged body in the mirror. She turned to every angle letting out a frustrated cry. She couldn't see anything, how could there be a human inside her?! She brought a shaking hand to her stomach, gasping when she flattened it where the baby rested. No, there was no bump yet, but got sick knowing there would be one soon.

* * *

"Callie baby?" A soft knock sounded on her and Mariana's door, but for tonight she had the room to herself since Mariana was spending the night with Lexi. She assumed she was there to give Callie space and she was grateful for the alone time. She could detect the worry in Stef's voice and she loved having a family who cared about her again but after the long day she's had pretending to be okay, she wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep forever(or at least until she had to get up for school) "Yeah," Callie answered in her usual tone, letting her know she could come in.

"We were wondering how you were doing." Lena spoke softly, her voice rising slightly at the end making the statement a question. Callie nodded, her lips pressed together, eyebrows raised slightly like the always did when she was putting up a brave front. "I'm fine."

"Callie, you know you can be honest with us, right?" Stef added softly, sitting down next to Callie who was cross legged on her bed. Lena nodded, backing up her partner and joining the two on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Callie whispered brokenly, feeling guilty. "I know you didn't sign up for this."

Stef reached out and placed her hand on her shoulder "Neither did you."

Callie's bottom lip quivered as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm scared." She looked at Lena's hand that was now resting on her knee. "I don't know how to do this. I can't- I don't, I don't know how to be a mom."

Stef gave her a comforting squeeze, "Have you thought about what you want to do? No one will judge you if you terminate it. Or if you don't. "

"I miss my mom." The words came out as a strangled cry as she lost her battle to hold the tears in any longer. "I just want my mom."

Lena pulled Callie into her arms, the girls cries muffled somewhat by her shoulder. Stef hands ran comforting patterns on her back. "Now you have two more mamas. We'll never replace her. She'll always be your mom. But you can come to us with anything. " Lena continued, keeping her voice soft and soothing.

"I never thought I'd have a kid, you know. Not since I've been in the system," Callie let out a dry laugh, moving back into her original sitting position. "Or if I did it'd be because _somehow_ things managed to work out and I'd be happy about it."

"You can still be happy about it. It doesn't need to be right now. There's adoption, and abortion. Or you can keep it. Whatever you want. Okay sweetie?" Stef answered before placing a kiss on Callie's head. She nodded, giving her a small smile in response.

"I'm pretty tired," The two women took a hint, giving her leg a final squeeze before making there way to the door, opening it to find a very upset Jude, starring right at Callie.

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**Oooooh, how is Jude going to react?! The reviews have been awesome. Keep them up! It makes me want to write faster. :P I don't know how I feel about this chapter, it's kinda a filler but I felt like Jude finding out was important. Let me know what you think and suggestions are welcome!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read the AN at the end of the chapter**

It had been two weeks since Jude had found about Callie's pregnancy. The family had stayed up all night, answering any of the questions he had and doing their best to comfort him.

Callie was curled up on the couch, Jude between her and Mariana, both girls cuddled up to him. Brandon was sitting on the recliner, not interested in watching say yes to the dress, but wanting to be near Callie.

He watched as Callie shifted and picked at her nails, not paying attention to the show.

When she moved to get up, he gave her a questioning look. "Bathroom," she said. He nodded and watched as she made her way to the bathroom.

She lowered her pants and was just about to sit down to go to the bathroom when she noticed blood. It wasn't a lot, but there was blood. Was this normal? Bleeding didn't feel normal. Was something wrong?

With shaky hands she pulled her jeans back up, walking as quickly as her trembling legs would take her. Brandon was the first to see her worry stricken face, and stood up, "What's wrong?"

Scared, she looked back at the bathroom and then back at the kids that were sitting in the living room, Jesus excluded as he was at Lexi's. "I'm bleeding."

Brandon's face paled at her words. "Is that normal?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, okay," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Mariana already calling for their moms when he answered, "We should go to the hospital. Yeah, we need to go to the hospital."

Stef and Lena ran downstairs, panic evident on their faces, nearly shouting as the asked what was wrong. Jude was still on the couch, eyes wide as he stared at his sister. "Callie's bleeding." Brandon explained, subconsciously starting to pace.

Stef was at her side in instant, already beginning to usher her out the door while Lena was gathering the other kids, "Mariana, call Jesus."

Callie was beginning to panic, "Stef," she whispered.

"I know." She grabbed her hand. "I know."

They remained silent the entire trip to the hospital, Callie's hand on the nonexistent baby bump, not even 20 minutes ago she was acting like this baby was nothing but an inconvenience to her, a problem, but now she was facing this possibility that by the end of the day, it could be gone. In all of the thoughts she'd had about the baby, she never actually considered that she could lose it.

They had just gotten out of the car, and were about to enter the hospital when Stef took Callie's hand, sensing her uneasiness.

She gave Callie's hand a small squeeze. "It's going to be okay." Unable to speak, she nodded. She tried to be comforted by her mom's words, but there was only a growing trepidation inside of her.

Stef handled everything in the emergency room. Soon, they were being directed to a private room, the kids sitting in the waiting room. Lena stood next to her as she waited nervously on the exam table, hands folded tightly in her lap, while Stef was looking for a cup of coffee.

Callie broke the heavy silence, "Is this my fault?"

Lena looked at Callie, shocked. She brushed away the stray strands of hair on her forehead. "No, no. Of course not sweetie."

The door opened and a doctor in her 40s entered the room, followed by Stef, a calm but serious expression on her face. Stef moved over to Lena's side, grabbing onto her hand. She reached for Callie's hand as well, offering her silent support. "Hi, I'm Dr. Hays." Callie nodded, acknowledging the women. "I hear you're pregnant and experiencing some bleeding?" She silently nodded again and Stef squeezed her hand. "When did the bleeding start?"

"I don't know. About an hour ago."

"Have you experienced any cramping?"

"No."

"How far along are you?"

"Seven weeks, I think."

The doctor closed the chart she had been writing in. "Okay, we're going to do an ultrasound. Bleeding can happen in the first trimester without it meaning anything, but we'll check it out just in case." Dr. Hays pulled a nightgown out of a drawer and handed it to Called. "Alright, go ahead and put this on for the ultrasound. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"She looked at me like something was wrong."

"No she didn't," Lena assured, "You're just scared."

"Of course I'm scared," Callie nearly yelled. "I've been scared since I found out. Is this just karma for not being happy?"

"No! This is not a punishment. No matter what happens, it's not your fault."

The door opened again and the doctor shuffled into the room. "Let's go ahead and do an ultrasound." She walked over to the ultrasound machine moved it to the table. "Because it's so early in the pregnancy, we most likely will not be able to hear a heartbeat, but this will allow me to see if everything is developing correctly." The three women nodded, letting the doctor know they understood.

Callie laid down on the exam table and lifted her shirt when the doctor told her to. Her moms gripped both of her hands tightly, standing next to the bed, Lena running a comforting hand through her hair. They all looked the doctor's face as she turned on the monitor and searched for whatever it was she needed to know, though there was no indication of what she saw

She finally turned the screen towards them, pointing to a small white blob. "That is your baby and he or she is measuring to to just over seven weeks." Lena and Stef both released large sighs of relief, Callie just stared at the baby. Her baby. She couldn't tell if what she felt was good or bad. "Everything looks fine. This is just a normal case of spotting."

The rest of the appointment blurred together, thinking about how that tiny blob was a person. It wasn't until the doctor left that she blurted, "I don't want to get an abortion," the two women nodded, letting her know that that was okay, "I want to give them up for adoption." She swallowed, the enormity of the situation began to sink in. She shook slightly, but didn't allow the tears to fall, "Can we go now?"

* * *

**I'm not proud of this chapter but I felt like I should post something. Like I said before, I know what's going to happen in the long run, but I really need some ideas for what to put in leading up to it. I might put in some less heavy chapters? Cute fluffy moments? **

**This is my first multific and I'm not that crazy about it so I might stop writing it unless people want me to continue? Let me know what you think, and please leave suggestions! **


	4. Chapter 4

Lena, Mariana, and Callie were huddled in the back corner of Lena's longtime, go to bookstore, a pile of books spread on the table out in front of them. Mariana tossed 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' onto the floor, a disgusted cringe on her face. "I'm never having children," she groaned.

"So much positivity. I'm overwhelmed here," Callie deadpanned as she picked up another pregnancy book from the collection off the back table they were occupying. Mariana immediately tried to dodge the flying book coming at her from Callie. "Just kidding."

The girls fell into a bout of laughter for a moment, only to receive a pointed look from an employee. They hurriedly sobered and turned back to the books they'd collected. Callie was currently reading about what to expect week-by-week and from what she gathered, the first trimester was basically going to be a bitch. And in the second trimester, her libido was supposed to kick into high gear. Great.

She was trying her best to not hate every moment that a baby was growing inside her. One of the books said it would be more real after she heard the heartbeat for the first time. Maybe once she had tangible proof that there was a real, live person inside of her she would feel differently.

She handed Lena the few chosen books, and watched her go pay for them, feeling another small sense of reality setting in.

This was real.

* * *

The foster family weaves around the hoards middle schoolers, following Stef who lead them to the counter. Marshall, the regular guy working the counter, lifts his eyebrow when he sees her approach his register.

"Hey Ripley, it's been awhile." He chuckles and Stef smiles, "It has."

She pulls out her wallet and pays, Marshall hands her the change and they exchange their light jackets for laser tag vests. They fasten the vests over their clothes, and sit in the waiting area amongst three groups of birthday parties. Callie looks over to Stef, a small smirk on her lips. "Why did that guy call you Ripley?"

The whole family minus Jude, who is just as curious as Callie, laughs. "Cause she's a bad ass." Jesus answers, getting nods of agreements from the rest of them. She looks over to Stef, "So you're on my team."

"One time she showed up wearing black war paint under her eyes." Brandon shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips at the memory.

Marshall walks into the room to give them the laser guns. And they divide into teams; Stef, Mariana, Callie vs Lena, Brandon, Jesus and Jude.

They make their way into the dark room, cheesy techno music playing in the background, indicating the start of the game. Callie's eyes adjust to the darkness after a moment and she scans the room for the other team.

She spots Lena and creeps behind her and aims. She smiles when the lights on her vest flashes, signalling she hit.

The sudden vibration of Callie's vest causes her to turn around, three feet across away stands Brandon, the gun pointed right at her chest.

He smiles proudly and blows fake smoke off his fake gun causing Lena and Jesus to laugh.

"Game on, Callie" he jokes, before fleeing into the safety of the arena.

It is so on.

She runs after him, dodging around the various obstacles in the room, aim, shoot, and score. And then he's chasing after Callie and Mariana, who agreed teaming up on the star player of the opposing team would be smart. He sure was Stef's son when it came to being competitive. He feints around the barriers and smirks when he knows he's got the two girls cornered, takes aim, shoots, and scores. "Brandon!" Mariana shouts stomping her foot before raising an eyebrow at Stef who is a couple feet to the right of them. Stef nods and the three girls run after him. Every single one of them in the room acting like six-year-olds.

Brandon walks over to Callie as soon as the lights come on, steals her laser gun, and reads the statistics on its screen. "Eighty three points? There's no way you hit us eighty three times!"

She grabs his gun out of his hand and smirks "Only forty five hits?" She teases.

10 minutes later, the family exits the arena to tally up their teams scores.

"207 points." Stef states proudly, adding up her teams points. Lena grumbles, "143," as they exchange their gear with Marshall for their jackets. Marshall laughs, "Ripley's teams always wins."

"Callie and I could've taken them, mom only for 62 points this time." Mariana said, a proud smirk on her face. The opposing team look over at her shocked, "Hey," Stef put her hands up before pointing to Callie, "Miss thing over here was hitting everyone that I barely had anyone left to shoot."

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that," Lena teased her wife.

* * *

**Sorry for the long update! I was decided whether or not I was going to continue this story. You guys asked for fluff and I thought there needed to be a break from the heaviness that is this fic. I got the Ripley idea from a book or a show I once saw, I don't remember. But credit to that. As always, please review and leave feedback and ideas. Whatever you guys want, I will try to include!**


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